We begin our story two months and six days after Bubbles came home to find Nick gone from her life....
Ɓυввℓєѕ pushed open the doors of the bar and stepped inside, the coolness of the air conditioning hitting her and immediately refreshing her from the warm muggy air outside. Fumbling through her purse with both hands, stretching her fingers through all the junk she had crammed in there, looking for the change she knew she'd thrown in there at lunch, her cell phone was wedged between her cheek and her shoulder as she barked into it.. "I've told you before, I don't do pro bono I don't care how strong you think the case is. I got bills to pay... " She sighed heavily as she grabbed the phone and jabbed at the 'end call' button, tossing it on the bar as she approached. She paid no attention to anyone as she walked into the room, and always avoided making eye contact with anyone in this place anyway. It was a lawyers hangout and she was bound to come face to face with some disgruntled barrister she'd come up against in court. In fact she very rarely frequented the bar at all, but she'd had a tough day and wanted to stop for a tipple on the way home. She lifted her head and nodded toward the barman, letting him know she wanted serving, and flung her purse on the stool in front of her, still rummaging for her money. "Gin.. On the rocks." her tone had softened somewhat from what it had been during her phone call but it still had a sharp edge. Eventually pulling a 20 from her purse, she set it down on the bar and let out another sigh as she leaned against the cool marble. And relaxed a little, taking a look around and letting her eyes scan the bodies in the room. Then her gaze fixed upon one face. A familiar one, that she hadn't seen for 2 months. "What the fuck..." she uttered under her breath.
Nick was well into his third double bourbon and it had been less then an hour since he had entered the bar. He'd spend the first half hour listening to a couple of guys yammer on about stupid shit before he loosened up and began to smile and inject his own thoughts. Laughing at one of the pointless jokes, he held the glass up to his lips and took a sip before he eased back into the overstuffed sofa and let the liquid settle into his system, warming him pleasantly. He was in a good mood and he had good reason to be, after all he'd just been hired on as the head prosecuting attorney, which meant good money and more opportunity for him to direct his attention and contempt to a "cause" he was highly "disgruntled" with. These were the words his world was full of these days. Harsh truths went over easier when accompanied by bullshit words. Licking his lips, he lowered the glass. Noticing it was getting low he signaled to a pretty waitress - a blond with great legs and a nasty habit. He had fucked the woman once or twice before he realized what she'd been about. Now he treated her as all the guys in the place did, at least the ones who already fucked her. "Hey get me another, put it on my tab." He barely glanced at her, then waved her off like she wasn't worth his time. The other guys gave him a knowing look and they all laughed knowingly. Nick, deciding to add insult to injury, turned to the bar and was ready to call out something else to the woman when he noticed someone he recognized immediately and she was staring right at him. Scowling, he took another drink and turned his attention to retrieving his pack of cigarettes form his pocket.
Ɓυввℓєѕ stood stiff as she couldn't believe her eyes. She didn't notice when the barman put her drink on the bar and tried to get her attention. She didn't even notice when he exchanged her twenty with whatever change was left from the drink. All she could hear was her own pulse throbbing in her ears. And when he looked at her, right into her eyes, her heart jumped into her throat and she felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. The last time she'd seen Nick was when she'd kissed him goodbye and left for work that morning 2 months ago. Two months and 6 days to be exact. It had been the same as every other morning. They'd woken up, fucked then tried to beat each other to the shower. Had breakfast, kissed and said their "I love you's" and left the house. There was nothing different about that morning, they were happy. As happy as they had been for the years they'd been together. Everything was great.. Or so she thought. But she was proven wrong when she came home that evening and found every trace of him gone from the apartment. His clothes, belongings, car... Everything. She couldn't get through to his cell - nothing. The love of her life... Gone. And she hadn't a single clue why - not a shred of an explanation - and now here she was, face to face with him and all he could do was scowl and turn away. "What the fuck..." She uttered again, a little louder this time. And sounding a little more shocked. She took a step forward but stopped, turning back to the bar, resting her palms against it. It was only then she realized she was trembling, hard. She looked down at the floor and shook her head. Trying desperately to get her thoughts straight in her head but failing miserably. She looked up and saw her drink sat on a coaster in front of her, and without hesitation, picked it up and knocked it back. Screwing her face up as the sharp, cold liquor slipped down her throat. Standing up straight again, she looked back over toward the sofas and began to make her way slowly toward Nick.
Nick busied himself with lighting up his smoke, taking the time to tap any lose tobacco free before he placed the cigarette between his lips and pulled a lighter from his other pocket. Flipping the silver lighter open, he flicked the light to life with his thumb then brought the flame to his smoke a took a few puffs. He pretended he wasn't paying her any attention though when she began to approach the light smile he'd been sporting all day vanished and was replaced with a slight scowl. The last time he'd seen her, he'd be in love with her. He remembered the scent of her and the way her hair showed bright in the morning light against the pillow and floral sheets. He remembered the scent because he had spent an hour in the shower trying to remove that and all traces of her from his person. He remembered how his skin had burned, scalded by the hot water and the rough scrubbing. He'd been dumb enough to look through her papers, searching for a number he'd forgot to get from her. What he had found instead was the proof of her lies and deceit. Proof that she was what he referred to as one of the "lessers". Those fanciful non humans that strutted about expecting to be treated as more then what they were. To him they were nothing more then vermin, polluting life with their presents and it had to be stopped. It was one of the reasons he'd been so pleased with his new position. He planned ot make some serious changes. Changes that would rid him and the world of the kind he despised. Blowing out the smoke, he downed the last of his drink, then set the glass down on the table in front of him. He wouldn't acknowledge her. Why should he?
Ɓυввℓєѕ approached him slowly. Her head full of question but her thoughts so jumbled that she wasn't sure she could get a single word out of her mouth that made any sense. She was still in love with him, she could feel it in her heart. She'd spent the last 2 months trying to block it out. convincing herself she was over him. Trying with all of her energy to turn her love to hate and anger at him for leaving the way he did, but she couldn't do it. All she felt was hurt. And now she'd seen him again, the love came flooding back. She wasn't sure if that or the hurt was stronger. She was still trembling when she reached him and finding him completely ignoring her she wasn't sure how to get his attention. She took a breath and exhaled deeply through parted lips before speaking.She would attempt a strong and commanding tone but what came out was weak and shaky. "Nick.... " That was it. That was all she could muster. One word, and even that trailed off as she felt her stomach tie into knots. She swallowed hard, trying to gather herself but to no avail as her body continued to defy her with it's consistent trembling.
Nick knew when she spoke his name that he couldn't continue to blatantly ignore her/ The two guys he'd been joking with were giving him strange looks that bordered on uncomfortable and he knew he'd have to respond. He hadn't thought of seeing her again, in fact he had intended on avoiding her, yet here she was, speaking his name, looking at him the way only she could and he froze. What was he suppose to say? He had left without a word, Moving his stuff from the place they shared, he hadn't looked back and to anyone on the outside he was over the relationship and her, but inside was another story. He wanted to hate her, like he hated all her kind, but thoughts of her continued to haunt him, plaguing him in dreams and memories. He had hoped to never see her again because he wanted to avoid this moment. The awkward moment that stretched on and on life a fuckin lifetime. Finally he looked at her, his pale eyes revealing nothing, "Yeah...hey, how goes it?"
Ɓυввℓєѕ stood in shock at how blasé he was. Acting like she was some regular acquaintance that he'd bumped in to on the street. It was all she could do to not let her jaw drop open at his blatant nonchalance. She glared directly into his eyes, desperately trying to search out some clue as to what was going on, how he was feeling - what the fuck was going through his mind. But there was nothing. Literally nothing. He just looked upon her calmly and cooly as if their years together had never happened. As if he hadn't broken her heart the day he left. She stammered for a moment before she was able to muster any words to say to him. "How goes it? How.... goes it?" She repeated herself, still aghast at his reaction to her. Leaning in towards him, giving a glance to the side at the 2 men he'd been chatting with, she lowered her tone and almost hissed through her teeth. "How the fuck do you think it goes, Nick!" She almost spat his name at him. "Is that all you have to say to me... How. The fuck. Goes it??" She put a specific emphasis on each of her final words, repeating again what he'd said to her. and then scoffed a little as she shook her head in utter disbelief.
Nick hadn't really thought past the next moment and the words he spoke, hell they were the only ones he could manage to speak. What was it she wanted? When she leaned forward and hissed in his face, her eyes bright and wild, he nearly forgot about what he had discovered about her. About the scribblings in the book he'd found in her collection. He had recognized them almost immediately, after all he'd been schooled on how to out one of the supernaturals - his father had been adamant on teaching him the old ways, ways based on hate and contempt. He'd come from a long line of hunters and he'd been raised to distinguish his kind from those he was taught to condemn. Of course his father had been one nut short of insane, babbling and spouting on about destroying those who "threatened" their way of life and had brought "destruction" to their family wealth and status. By the time Nick was 15 he concluded his father was bound for the asylum and wrote off most of what he had ranted about but the contempt had been planted and that was a seed that would flourish in Nick's heart, strong enough to cause him to turn from someone he once claimed to love. "Uh..." he looked to the two guys, "Give me a moment will you." Rising, he started towards the bar, casually waving to someone he knew, hoping he'd be followed by the red head so their shit could be resolved in private.
Ɓυввℓєѕ stood, waiting for his response. A million thoughts rushing through her mind on what reasons he would give for abandoning her when they'd been - she thought - ridiculously happy together. She was awash with several different emotions and urges. She wanted to slap him, she wanted to kiss him, she wanted to wrap herself in his arms and scream how much she'd missed him, she wanted to cry.... She felt a flickering inside and she tried to dismiss it. When he eventually turned and excused himself from the two guys he was sat with, and rose from the sofa, she stood firmly on the spot so he'd have to almost push his way past her and as he made his way to the bar, she turned and gave an awkward smile to the 2 men who were looking at her and almost smirking as if to say "poor guy, being ambushed by a crazy ex...". She turned on her heel and followed him to the bar. Whether he wanted her to or not she wasn't going to just let him walk away. She wanted an explanation. Wanted to know why he thought he had the right to shatter and bury the life that she knew with him. As she reached the bar, she nodded toward the barman and motioned toward her glass, "Give me another one... He's paying." She added as she jerked her chin toward Nick. As well as an explanation, he at least owed her a drink..
Nick noticed the bartender gave him a look, waiting for approval and Nick wanted to decline paying for her drink. Why the hell should he pick up the tab for fuckin creature who had no right even breathing in his air. This was his first thought. He could hardly stand beside her, knowing what she was. It would've sickened him if he continued to dwell on it, so instead when he looked at her he tried to see her as she was. A striking beauty who he use to love. He studied the curve of your slender throat and he's remember how he'd kiss her there while trying to make her laugh. She had the best laugh. It was almost musical. They'd been great together, full of bright passion and wild lust. She had been everything he wanted. Realizing the bartender was still looking for a response, Nick cleared his throat then nodded, "Give me another as well." Grounding out his cigarette in an ashtray on the bar, he liked his lips, then raked his fingers along his scalp, brushing back his hair. "Okay, do you think that perhaps you could tone down the anger. Last thing I want is a scene. I'm assuming since you made it a point to approach me that you...what?...Do you want something form me?"
Ɓυввℓєѕ stood shocked and a little speechless for the second time in as many minutes. She was lost and totally confused. Why would he speak to her with such contempt ? What the hell did she do to deserve any of it? She didn't understand and as she struggled to calm herself and make sense of anything, she felt the flickering again. Stronger this time and she couldn't dismiss it. She knew that feeling. It was a feeling she'd had a lot over the past 2 months. But one that she had become able to control more recently. It was her glamor. It was fading, flickering like a faulty light bulb. Overwhelming emotion would drain her. It was a weakness in any Fae kind. Hurt, anger, pain, sorrow sometimes even the greatest joy, and the true form would begin to show. But it had never been something that had worried her. She'd enrolled in law school almost as soon as she'd left her family, and she'd met Nick her first day at their orientation. They'd been inseparable since then, and in any times of great emotion, if someone made her angry or upset her, she would always turn her thoughts to him. That would calm her, make her happy, and her glamor never faded, not once in the 3 years of law school and 3 years since graduation, because he had always been her fall back. Her "go to" when she sought sanity and peace. But now it was him making her feel this way. Him stirring all these emotions, draining her - making it fade. What could she do to stop it now ? The feeling became stronger. It deep in the pit of her stomach, but at the same time, making her skin tingle on the surface. It felt like the buzz of an old wireless radio as it ran out of power. She had to stop it before it became apparent. Before it began to show on the outside. "Shit shit shit....." She panicked in her head. Heart racing when just at what seemed the right moment, the barman placed her drink in front of her. She picked it up without hesitation and drained the whole thing in one gulp. And - squeezing her eyes shut - turned her face to the floor. Clenching her jaw and taking a few deep breaths. The whole while, trying to be subtle and not too noticeable. Of course she would be understandably upset, maybe she could play it off as that. Eventually, she felt the flickering fade and her heart rate would slow gradually. Hoping she'd managed to control it for now, she looked back up at him. Her voice was calmer than before, and softer. "Yes. I want something from you. I want to know why you broke my heart and why you don't seem to care...."
Nick narrowed his pale eyes. Standing before her, he'd been trying to pretend she was something and someone he'd known before. A simple beauty he'd fallen hard for and spent endless hours, days, nights with, but in the next passing moments he was reminded of what she was and the rage and disgust sparked to life in him. "Why?" Closing the space between them, he lowered his voice, his jaw clenching before he attempted to grab her face with rough hands. If successful, he'd forcefully attempt to turn her face towards the mirror behind the bar where the colorful liquor bottle sat glittering. "Why?" He'd hiss near her ear, as close as he ever wanted to get to her kind. "You know why. You KNOW why, don't you? You've been playing make believe, acting like you're something you're not. You've been hiding and hell, I don't give a shit, but no way are you going to continue to hide in my fuckin bed. I know what you are! Yeah, baby, I discovered your little secret. So what now, huh? You gonna pretend I didn't just see what I saw? Tell me, why the fuck are you here? Why aren't you on one of those reservations where you belong?" He'd release her then, giving a slight shove before he would turn to his drink and toss it back, trying to contain his boiling anger. She wasn't the only one who hid...
Ɓυввℓєѕ watched his face as his expression changed visibly. He looked like a different person, one she'd seen before but only when he was worked up, ranting about the supernaturals and his hatred for them. She always hated listening to the way she spoke about them, knowing she was one of them. She hated having to keep secrets from him. And she hated knowing how he would feel about her if he knew. But she was still the same person she would be if he could see her in her true form. Only her appearance would be different. Everything else was the same. She wasn't /hiding/ herself from him, or from anyone. She was trying to /be/ someone else, something else. And she had managed it, ever since she'd left the family. She had lived - happily - as a human, leaving every thing supernatural behind. Her empathy she couldn't turn off, it was built in, a part of her. An ability she couldn't suppress. And hell, it made her a great lawyer, But to her that wasn't 'magic'. But being able to delve into peoples minds, hear, sometimes even see, their thoughts - It had taken time, and a lot of energy but she had learned to switch it off, like the flick of a light switch. Trying to never use is, and vowing especially to never use it on Nick. But seeing this look on his face, the look she recognized, she feared the worst. But how ? How could he know ? Without even barely a second to think, she was taken by surprise as he grabbed her face roughly, his fingertips digging into her flesh, enough to cause jolts of pain, and she was at his mercy as he yanked her head in the direction of the bar. Inhaling sharply, with a slight whimper, as he hissed into her ear, confirming her fear. He knew. Fuck.... She tried to take in what he was saying - his questions and stumbled backwards as he shoved her and released his grip. Her heart was racing again at his harsh words stabbed at her like a knife in her stomach "I know what you are.... Where you belong...." As if she were some scumbag crimninal who should be locked in a cell. She stammered and stumbled as she tried to speak. "I..... I'm not...... " She tried to take a breath, her voice was weak and broken. "I'm still me....."
Nick set his glass down and then planted his palms on the bar, trying to control his anger and...And what? He had hurt her and the realization had his heart hammering. Shutting his eyes he tried to get the look he'd seen on her face out of his mind. Breathing in slowly, he tried to pretend all was well. He tried to slap a lid on his rage, so others wouldn't know how deep his hatred really ran. How it controlled him. How it motivated him. No, he had to continue to project being a harmless but passionate advocate of the law. If he expected to keep his new position Mystic Cove he couldn't afford to let his emotions get the better of him. He reeled in his anger yet...it left behind his regret and the feelings he had for the woman beside him. He loved her, hell he had been ready to marry her. He missed her, he wanted her, yet..."Please, just go. It's over, let's leave it like that."
Ɓυввℓєѕ felt herself trembling a little and tears stung at her eyes but she blinked them away. Turning back toward the mirror briefly she could see red imprints on her face where his fingers had dug into her and she rubbed at them in a failed attempt to stop the throbbing pain. She tried to speak, without a clue to what she would say but when she opened her mouth, no sound came out. She couldn't gather her thoughts let alone muster any words. What could she say? "Sorry I've lied to you all these years..." "Sorry you fell in love with someone pretending to be something she's not..." "Sorry I fooled you, tricked you.... ". It all seemed futile. But before she could even attempt to string a sentence together, he spoke and his words felt like he'd twisted the knife in her stomach. She felt defeated and broken. Lost. And she turned to pick up her purse from the chair she'd dumped it on when she first came in. Looking down as she reached for it, she caught a glimpse of the picture keyring that hung from the zipper. It was a picture of them on their summer vacation in Mauwi. A vacation they'd taken to celebrate their graduation from law school together. They were so happy. So in love. And the picture reminded her of what she couldn't walk away from. "No...." she spoke quietly, almost as if to herself before lifting her head and turning towards him. "No..." Louder this time, obviously meant for him to hear. "I won't 'just go'. And I'm not going to 'leave it at that'." She straightened herself up and took a breath, as if she'd had a moment of clarity. "You may hate what I used to be, and yes I know you're angry. I understand that and it's justified. But I didn't hide anything to make a fool of you. I didn't expect or even /want/ to fall in love. That was the last thing on my mind when I enrolled for law school. But there you were, and it happened. I couldn't stop it, and hell, I didn't want to. I left behind everything that you hate. I walked away from that life. /This/ is me. /This/ is who I am. I am who I have struggled and strove to be. The person I always /wanted/ to be, even before I met you. And I am still the girl you fell in love with. Still the girl I've always been since I met you. Nothing has changed. I'm still me." She repeated her words from earlier, her tone soft yet assertive. In a hope to let him know she wouldn't give up so easily.
Nick continued to hang his head, his fingers now thoughtlessly curling on the marble counter top. He assumed she'd just walk away and leave him to collect himself but when she spoke he couldn't shut off the words and they spoke directly to the man who had loved her deeply. Before he could over think his next actions, he turned to her, seeing the marks he'd left on her face and he grabbed her again but this time his touch wasn't rough. Capturing her face in his hands he moved in and would attempt to kiss her. Two months of ignoring his feelings spilled out in a hot, desperate kiss. The second he felt her against him he was lost to her. His hands slipped around her head as he opened his mouth against hers, eager for more of her. With teeth scraping and tongue prodding, he would attempt to kiss her deeply. He didn't care at that moment who or what she was, all he knew is he missed her and he wanted her and she had been his.
Ɓυввℓєѕ could do nothing but look at him, waiting what seemed like a lifetime for a response from him. And when he turned and grabbed at her face again she would flinch and recoil backwards, expecting another outburst, but not before he secured his grasp on her. What he did next took her by surprise and left her a little breathless. She hadn't realized she'd squeezed her eyes shut when he'd grabbed her face and when she was shocked by the familiar warmth and taste of his lips on hers, she immediately fell against him. Leaning in to his kiss. The kiss she'd craved for the last two months. It was passionate and needful, and for a second it made her forget everything that had happened in the past 10 minutes. Her arms instinctively slipping around his waist as she pulled him closer to her, deepening the kiss, never wanting it to end. All thoughts dissipated from her mind as she savored the moment. She moved her hands and would attempt to cup his face in her palms, pulling back a little, pressing her forehead to his as a tear rolled down her cheek. She swallowed hard and whispered in a shaky tone, "I've missed you so much.... " Already craving the feel of his mouth on hers again, she would attempt to move in and continue the kiss.
Nick was breathing quick and he closed his eyes as she pressed her forehead to his. He could feel her breath on his face, spreading on his lips that were damp and slackened from the first kiss. He was overwhelmed with the need to kiss her again and when she brought her mouth back to his, he would move her so her back was to the bar and, lifting her, he set her on one of the high stools, before his hands moved to wander over her curves, following the dips and firm round spots on her body he had memorized. He tried not to think, tried not to consider what he was doing and what he was compromising. His thoughts swam in a chaotic mess of need and desire, want and love... He felt himself plunging into a place he hadn't been in a while and he struggled to return to his senses but hell, she was too close, too available and he was too lost in all she gave him.
Ɓυввℓєѕ felt his breathing quicken and she let one of her hands slip to his chest, placing it over his heart she could feel it beating against his chest. She felt the tear on her cheek roll down her neck and as he moved back in to welcome her kiss she pressed herself hard against him. Inhaling deeply as he lifted her on to the stool. In that moment, she forgot everything. The way he'd grabbed her. What he knew about her. How she'd deceived him. She even forgot where they were and she continued to kiss him deeply as she reveled in the feel of his hands wandering her tiny frame and moved her hand to the back of his head to pull him closer, parting her legs so he could stand between them. She had no words, and she didn't want to speak. She wanted the kiss to last forever. Wanted him to forget what he knew - Forget his reason for hating her. She wanted things back the way they were. Another tear rolled down her cheek and she didn't know if it was from the upset of what had happened or the intensity of what was happening now. But she knew she could barely breathe and she knew she needed him.
Nick drew back as he felt the intensity, It was palpable and as strong as ever and when the kiss broke, he kept her pressed to him, his face going to her hair and he buried himself there, hiding from the world and all it's shit. He wondered what his draw was to her and he wondered if it had anything to do with what she was. He had knowledge of supernaturals, though he had a hard time deciphering what was true and what wasn't. His father's hatred had blinded him sometimes from reality and when he raged it was a collaboration of intensity that bordered on psychotic. It was one of the reasons Nick decided to take the path he was now on. Instead of ranting he'd attack in a more stealth thought out way. Reasonable. Sensible. He had no room for feelings when it came to his calculating and pulling off his planned sabotaging. Feelings made way for mistakes, it made shit sloppy and Nick was far from sloppy. Realizing he had gave in to his feelings, he stepped back, his pale eyes darkening, "No."
Ɓυввℓєѕ lingered for a moment, lips parted and eyes still closed as he drew back from the kiss. Opening her eyes, she searched his face, trying to figure out what was going on in his head. Most Fae in her position wouldn't think twice about using their ability. Delving into the private thoughts in his mind as if they were public domain. But the thought never even crossed her mind. She had vowed to herself she would never use her abilities on Nick, ever. She would only ever be human for him. As human as she could be. As he took another step back, she attempted to hold him to her with her arms around his waist looking desperately at him. Panic setting in as he spoke his one single, devastating word. She could almost feel him slipping away from her again and it made her heart race and plunge with fear. Her lips were still warm from his and she longed to taste him again. Her brow furrowed and she slipped off the edge of the stool and would attempt to press herself against him again, her eyes fixed on his as she anxiously scrabbled around her own thoughts for a way look past his hatred and see the woman he used to love. "Baby... please. Look. It's me.... It's just me..."
Nick was about to respond when he felt a tap on his shoulder, "Uh Nick, we're going to head out. See you in court, yeah?" Turning his face, Nick didn't look at his two friends, he simply nodded. When they were gone and he was once again alone with the woman who haunted him, he waited a long minute. Lifting his eyes, he looked over her shoulder at the mirrored shelf of the bar and he met his own gaze. He looked lost and confused and far from determined. He was slipping. It had been fine when he didn't know what she was. He had repeated that to himself again and again when the guilt of mingling with her kind would cross his mind. But now, he knew. He knew what she was and what world she came from. What she wanted, it couldn't happen and would never work. But...who was talking about tomorrow? The blue of his eyes turned to the color of steel as if reflecting his determination that was now pounding loudly in his ears. "That's not determination," he thought, "that's just you wanting to fuck her." Taking her hand, he would attempt to lead her to the exit and the stairwell he knew he'd find at the end of the hall.
Ɓυввℓєѕ waited with baited breath to see if her words would have any effect on him. And when he reached for her hand she exhaled deeply. Taking a step forward, she turned to grab her purse from the chair, then would follow him wherever he would lead her. Her heart was racing and all she could think of was him. Getting him back. How pointless and miserable her life had been without him. She loved him. She needed him. As he led her through the door, her stomach tied up in knots. "Where are we going?" Her voice was meek and quiet as she clutched at his hand, gripping it tightly, following close behind him.
Nick slammed his palm in to the door as he pulls her behind him and makes his way to the stairwell which was private and out of the way. Shoving that door open, he lead up inside the quiet space, then shut the door. Looking over the woman, he admired how much trust she put in him. Raising his hand, he put his palm to her face and stepped forward, his mouth claiming hers once more as he attempted to push her back against the wall. "Damn it, I missed you," he manage to mutter between the kissing. There was some things they'd have to talk about but at that moment it seemed unimportant.
Ɓυввℓєѕ stood in the middle of the place he'd led her too, feeling her legs shake a little. Why had he brought her here? His rage fueled outburst earlier had made her nervous. His hatred of what she was scared her a little. And she knew from her many trials in court defending people who had committed crimes of passion, that anger can make good people capable of anything. But she trusted him. In her heart she knew he wouldn't - couldn't hurt her. Did she though? Did she really know that? Or was it just her hoping? As he reached towards her and stepped forward she took in a heavy breath and as he leaned in to kiss her, the air exhaled as a quiet whimper - of relief, need, joy? She didn't know, and didn't spend a moment thinking about it as she welcomed his kiss. Leaning back against the wall, her pursed dropped from her hand, spilling out on to the floor, but she didn't notice. She was wrapped up in him, this man whom she loved with every ounce of her being. His taste, his scent, his touch - it was like a lifeline to her. She needed him. Bringing her hands to the side of his head and raking her fingers through his hair, she pulled him closer to her, kissing him greedily and fervently.
Nick Courtois was slightly startled by the sound of the purse and it's contents hitting the floor and he pulled back, looking around, his breath heavy. When he was sure they were still alone, he leaned into her, his voice low. "You know there are people who hate your kind and you know I've been guilty of it myself...I never told you the whole story behind all of that, hell I really don't understand much of it, but...I can't be seen with you, not because I don't want to be but because...well if I could find out what you are I am sure others can as well and I need to continue down the path I'm on, if I expect to keep all that I've gain. It probably makes no sense, hell it makes little sense to me right now but, well I can't, I mean I don't have the luxury to do what I want, not right now." His words tumbled from his in a quick gush of breath, even as he paused after every sentence and kissed you again and again. Stole moments and he was going to get all he could from it. He didn't know when he'd be able to speak to her or be this close again.
Ɓυввℓєѕ rested her head back against the wall as he pulled away from the kiss, her eyes never leaving his. Listening intently as he spoke, almost in disbelief. "You can't be seen with me?!" Her tone was raised a little but not much, She didn't know if it was more anger, hurt or shock but she didn't want to draw any attention to them by having people come to see what any shouting was about so she softened her voice. "What if you hadn't found out? What if you'd never left and we were still the way we used to be?? You'd be seen with me then - Why is now any different? The only difference is what /you/ know." She started to get a little worked up again but it didn't stop her surrendering to his kisses each time he pressed his mouth to hers. "Can't be seen with me?" She repeated his words again and stared at him incredulously, "You're treating me like I'm some dirty little secret or some whore you'd pick up off the street... I was your girlfriend for six years Nick - /six years/!" She would barely stop to take a breath before continuing on, her stomach stirring more and more. "No one knows what I am. No one knows the truth. And now you're treating me like the hunters treat the rest of "my kind" who live on the reservations, the ones who taunt and provoke them with their magic! That's not me Nick, You /know/ that's not me!" Her mind was awash with a million different thoughts again, and none that she could hear clearly. She looked around her, as if searching for something, she didn't even know what she was doing any more, she was overcome with emotions and nothing made sense. Then she caught sight of something laying on the ground, something that had spilled form her purse. The light glinted from it's shiny surface and without even thinking, she bent down to pick it up. She'd attempt to grab at his hand and press the object into his palm and close his fingers around it, keeping a grip on his fist as she lifted it and pressed the point of the sharp, cold steel letter opener against her pale throat, swallowing hard as it dug into her flesh. "Here, if you're going to act like them, and treat me the same way, then you may as well do what they do..." Her voice had become weak again, her words were broken and shaky But she looked him straight in the eye as a tear rolled down her cheek. "Go on Nick.... Do it..."
Nick frowned as he held his hand while pressing the sharp tip to her throat. Slightly bewildered, he listened to her words and instead of understanding how she might feel betrayed and abandoned, he only saw his own predicament and her inability to understand brought on his anger again. Scowling, he would attempt to yank his hand away, his fingers loosening on the letter opener. "Knock it off!" His voice reverberated through the stairwell and he immediately lowered it. "I told you, I have a reason to do what I have to do as for only me knowing, I can't take that chance. Not now, not before I get a chance to do what I have to do. YOU know ME, you know I am not going to do anything that will side rail my plans and this has to be done. I wouldn't have to leave you or hurt you IF YOU had been honest with me...right? Hm? Yeah exactly, if you had told me early on about your little secret I might have been able to help you hide better or at least worked something out. Why didn't you tell me? Did you really think so little of me, or us? You don't understand these hunters, they're not fucking around and the people who are calling the shots aren't going to just let me walk away with a "oh my bad I didn't know she was one of them". They'd kill us both."
Ɓυввℓєѕ dropped her grip on his hand as he tugged it away and she felt a tiny droplet of blood trickle down her neck where the letter opener had broken the skin. As soon as she thought about it, it began to sting and she tried to wipe it with her hand, smearing the blood across her pale flesh. She hung her head and looked at the floor as his words echoed around her head. He was right. And she had no right to be angry with him. It was /she/ who'd hidden a secret from him. And not a small one like who ate that last cookie or where she'd hidden his Christmas gifts. It was huge. Her whole identity, her past, her heritage. But that wasn't who she was. She'd only hidden it because she was trying so desperately to not /be/ that person. And she wished she could make him understand this. "That's not why..... I didn't think little of you, or us." She was still face to the floor, unable to look him in the eye and she tried to ignore the stinging on her neck. "Shit... You were the only person I could ever trust enough to tell the truth to. But I.... " She was stumbling over her words, unable to find the right ones to explain herself. "I didn't know how to tell you for a start.... When i first met you, I didn't tell you because it was all new, exciting, unpredictable. Hell, I could never have foreseen us 6 years down the line.And then when it got more serious, it had been too long. I was scared I'd lose you if I told you then." She took another breath and finally lifted her eyes to meet his. Her eyelashes were moist and there were faint tear tracks on her cheeks. "Then I started to see your anger, your hatred toward my kind. And I couldn't bear the thought of you thinking of me like that, looking at me like you looked at them, the look of disgust on your face when you thought of them. I didn't want you, the man I love, looking at me like that..... I.... fuck, I don't even know if that makes sense...." Her words trailed off quietly and she sighed heavily as she slid down the wall to sit on the cold floor next to where her purse laid.
Nick watched her sink to the floor and he sighed. Raking his fingers through his hair, he let his hand pause so he could clamp on to his skull. His head was throbbing and trying to keep himself straight was becoming a struggle. Blowing out a long quiet breath, he closed his eyes briefly, then crouched down in front of her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put all the blame on you or to make you feel bad. I was only trying to explain myself...maybe that's why I avoided the goodbye, maybe I hoped you'd just hate me and move on and we wouldn't have to do this. I...I won't pretend I don't have a choice, I do. I could drop all I got going and we could split, I mean if you still wanted this...I mean if you wanted us. I'm assuming you do, maybe you don't. If you don't then let me know and we can walk away and deal with what we got now. It's better then me spilling my guts and reaching the same conclusion, right? I know you feel you need an explanation, but isn't it enough to know I probably handled this all wrong but there was something behind my reasoning." Retreating back into reasoning and sensibility, he did what he did best and that was to deflect and dodge, use fact and reasoning to avoid having to feel shit. He did it without even thinking. It was part of what made him good at his job. No one would argue that he had a way with words and could twist a point of view to suit him with ease. Seeing the blood on her neck, he licked the edge of his cuff, then leaned in to wipe away the crimson that was showing up black in the dim lighting.
Ɓυввℓєѕ brought her knees up and propped her elbows against them as she rested her face in her hands, listening to him speak. Trying to take in and understand every word but having a hard time of it. No, it's /not/ enough to know that he admits handling it wrong and that he had his reasons, because that doesn't erase the past 2 months for her. That doesn't take away the heart break, the misery, the constant agony of not knowing why. And it doesn't make her forget how he treated her in the bar, first talking to her as if she were nothing, then manhandling her as if she meant nothing to him and never had. And it didn't erase the humiliation she felt when he said he "couldn't be seen with her", but she wasn't going to tell him all this. She didn't want to fuel his anger or give him any other reason to walk away. "Yes, I still want this..." She spoke quietly and slightly muffled before she lifted her head from her hands and letting her arms drape across her knees. "Yes.. I do. But... " Letting out a hefty sigh again as she leaned her head back against the wall, "I don't want you to have to give everything up. Not for me. You know I wouldn't ask you to do that. But I want this. I want /us/. I love you. Have always loved you. Always will." She was cut off abruptly, sucking air in sharply through her teeth as he reached to wipe the wound on her neck, causing it to sting again. She lifted her hand to rest it on top of his and would attempt to bring it to her cheek as she turned her face to nuzzle his palm. "There has to be a way..?"
Nick let her rest her cheek on his palm. Searching her face, feeling a pain in his chest at her agony and confusion. Blowing out another breath, he shifted on his heels, then sat. He felt safe there in the cramp little space, like they were the only ones on the planet and nothing could invade the small private little cocoon they had created in the dim, dirty stairwell. "I got prosecutor...I'm the lead prosecutor." He hoped she'd weigh the importance of these few words. After all, they both went to school together, studied together, put in the time and they were of the same age. It was a huge leap for him and she'd have to reason he didn't get the position on his own. He hoped she'd put some of these thoughts together and maybe make the explanation easier for him.
Ɓυввℓєѕ watched him as he sat in front of her, straightening herself up a little, she dropped her legs and crossed them in front of her, sitting like a child in a school hall assembly. She kept her hold on his hand, but dropped it from her cheek to her lap, attempting to entwine her fingers with his as she looked down at them. When he told her the news, she looked up at him. "Wow baby that's...... that's really great!" She knew what a huge deal it was, and she wanted to be excited for him, and she was, but the first thing to go through her mind was the fact that she wasn't the first person he told when he was given the position. She wasn't the one he rushed home to break the news to. She wasn't the one celebrating with him. Fuck, she missed him. She tried hard not to miss his point by getting lost in her own selfish thoughts and she turned her attention back to him. The question was in the back of her mind, "HOW did he get that position? WHY did he get that position?" She knew the background he came from and that let her believe that there was undoubtedly someone backing him, giving him boosts in his career. She was genuinely happy for him. But she also knew what it meant for him, in his job, his career, and in the town, if it was ever discovered he'd been living with a Faerie for six years. Whether he knew about it or not. And if the hunters ever found out, he was right, they would kill them both. She sighed again at her own acknowledgment of the facts and just looked at him, lost and weak. She squeezed his hand a little and looked in his eyes. "What do we do? What do you WANT? Do you even want me - still love me?" She realized she didn't even know how he felt about her now he knew the truth. It must have meant something for him to be down here with her, talking it out, but she didn't know for sure.
Nick could see the remnants of the pressure of rough fingers on her face and could see the pain in her eyes and the sadness on her lips. She'd always been easy to read or perhaps it was just easy for him to read her. Staring down at his hand, he watched as she played with his fingers. When she congratulated him, he smiled tightly, the corners of his mouth curving briefly before he waited for her to register the rest. He knew she'd understand what he was hinting at and he was prepared to explain further if she asked, but she didn't ask, at least not the question he was ready to answer. instead she asked if he loved her. Of course she questioned his feelings, hell he abandoned her without explanation, avoided her, ignored her, physically harmed her, insulted her, made her cry...all these things told him that she loved him because she wasn't the type to give a shit over someone she didn't care for. He had assumed his kisses, his nearness, his need to explain would answer the question for her but he knew it wouldn't be the first time he overestimated his actions. He wasn't big on being the open book. "Yes, I love you. Why do you think I left? I could've done a number of things, like revealed you or killed you myself. I guess I could've left a note or a message but who was to say you'd even get it? Who the hell knows if I'm not being watched, I don't know if they trust me - hell my dad is a looney! Who knows what light he's painted me in, for all I know I could just be a fuckin pawn, disposed of as soon as I'm no longer useful. I have no clue, I just know I wanted you safe. And yeah I was angry, angry that you hid so much from me, but...yeah. Yeah, of course I love you. As for what we do, I have no clue.".
Ɓυввℓєѕ exhaled a short breath that she didn't realize she'd been holding in as he said the words she'd longed to hear every day for the past 2 months. He loved her. They'd always been so tight, so close and so strong together. Trusting each other with everything. She wondered if something like this was big enough to break all of that. To eradicate any love he ever felt for her, but it wasn't. He still loved her. She listened as he spoke. He never talked of his father much, but she knew of the mans hatred for "her kind" and knew that Nick had inherited that, no matter how crazy he believed his father to be. Growing up having those thoughts and beliefs pushed upon you every day, isn't something that just goes away or rolls off like water on a ducks back. She had no clue what they should do either, all she knew was, she didn't want to - couldn't - lose him. As she opened her mouth to speak, she jumped with a start as she was startled by the loud piercing ring of her cell echoing from the cold walls. It's flashing screen lighting up the dim stairwell announcing the call. "Shit..." She stammered as her heart raced and reached down to grab her cell, jabbing at the "Reject" button before tossing back in her purse. "Was work.." She mumbled before reaching for her hand again. She sighed a little and tried to gather her thoughts for a second before speaking. The call from work had reminded her of something. Her job. There's no way that certain people would let a fae be a lawyer in this town if they knew the truth, and that had to be of some reassurance to him at least? She looked back at him. "What if no one knows... I mean, 6 years baby, and you're the only one who ever found out. And we lived together... You had to be THAT close to me to find out..... And do you think for a second I'd still have my job, especially MY kind of job, if any humans knew. All the hunters, all the corrupt people in the system... Don't think I don't know that shit goes on..... You think I'd still be there if they even had an inkling?!" She searched his eyes for some kind of reaction, hoping desperately that she'd made him think, even just a little that maybe she was right and that they COULD be together.
Nick considered her words and his eyes darkened some as his thought clamored at the possibility. Was it worth the risk? He was truthful when he said he didn't know when or how they checked up on him, hell for all he knew no one gave a shit, though that wasn't the impression he got when contacted. It was all very secretive and well coordinated. He doubted they would go through all the trouble to clear him if they didn't have faith that he was willing to do whatever it took to help them achieve their goals. "So what do you suggest?" He was surprised his own phone wasn't ringing but remembered he had left it in his car. He hoped all the rumors at work would be of him making out with a beautiful woman at the bar then slipped out for a night of fucking. Her argument was slightly logical, being in the public eye so much would've put her on the radar to be checked out, especially as a defense attorney. How would it be viewed, him, the new prosecuting attorney dating a defense attorney. It wasn't unheard of but it didn't cause some conflicts of interest. He knew he couldn't just waltz in the courthouse flaunting his new defense attorney girlfriend. The more he thought about it the more his head started to hurt. "I mean, look at us babe, we're hiding out in a stairwell."
Ɓυввℓєѕ sighed a little, considering his words before she answered. "No babe, YOU have us hiding out in a stairwell. YOU brought us here. I followed you." It was true. She followed him because he led her and because she didn't want to let him walk away. She would have happily sat in the corner of the bar and chatted inconspicuously. "You don't think it looks more suspicious, you sneaking off into dark corners all the time... You don't think that if people ARE watching you, that they won't be MORE likely to check me out and look into my background if I'M the one you're seen sneaking off with ?" She would attempt to tug his hand to pull him closer to her, bringing her face close to his as she slipped her other hand to the back of his neck. "Think about it baby. Hiding in plain sight! Hell, if they were gonna see us together, it would have been in the 3 years we've lived here together as a couple. What's more suspicious - getting back with the girl you loved and lived with for 3 years, or sneaking around out of sight with her?" She looked into his eyes, hoping to see some spark of agreement, squeezing his hand a little again.
Nick opened his mouth, ready to reply but he didn't have one so he closed his mouth only to open it in the next second, ready to once more say something, then closed his mouth again. She had a point. Hell, he was never good at being sneaky and maybe that's what spooked him. What if HE blew her cover. And how did he feel about her being a supernatural? Sure it was easy to love her when he was clueless but how did he see her now. Peering at her, he studied features he knew all too well. "You know, I don't really feel like I know much about you anymore. I mean I know what you were pretending to be, but what does all this mean anyways, you being...you. What does it entail? Should I be worried? Are you manipulating my thoughts? Can you hurt me? The book I found, the writings, I recognized them but I don't know what it said. What was that? A journal? Spells? What's it's purpose?"
Ɓυввℓєѕ noticed him stuttering to speak and knew then that her words must have rung true and hit home with him. Right then she felt her body relax just a little, not realizing how tense she'd been, the thought of losing him again bearing a huge weight down on her. One corner of her mouth curled into a subtle smile as he fired his questions at her. It was odd that a human would be asking questions trying to get to know more about a Supernatural instead of shunning them or hunting them down. "No I can't hurt you, and even if I could, I never ever would. It would kill me to harm the man I love..." She looked him in the eye again, all she saw was a man wanting answers. "You have no reason to be worried. I can't hurt you, and no, I'm not manipulating your thoughts. I am just me. I am the girl you got to know, the girl you fell in love with. THAT'S me. That's not pretending. That's who I am. My personality, my sense of humor, my likes, my dislikes, my fears, my dreams.. My heart. It's all me. I walked away from my old life and everything and everyone in it, because this is who I want to be. I don't WANT to use magic, and the magic I have is next to useless anyway because I never trained it." She ran her hands over her face, wincing a little as she brushed the red fingermarks on her face that she'd forgotten about. "And the book.... Is a journal I wrote when I was younger. When I still lived with my family. I had no one to talk to, no one could understand how I felt. That I knew I didn't fit in, that I didn't want to be there. You have no idea what they would have done if they'd found out I wanted to walk away from the fae and act like a human. So I kept a journal. It was my confidant. My best friend.... That's all that book is." She sighed and wet her lips with her tongue, wishing now that she had an ice cold gin in her hand. "Does that make any sense to you?"
Nick nodded as he listened, then noticed her begin to fidget. Rising, he held his hand out to her, "Come on let's go back to the bar. We can talk there. Go to the bathroom and see if you can put something on to cover the marks there on your face." Knowing he was the reason the marks were there, he frowned, a twinge of guilt passing through him. "I...I'm sorry I hurt you. I should have never touched you, but you have to know I didn't mean to...I didn't intend to be so rough." He had never harmed her in the past so he hoped she'd believe him.
Ɓυввℓєѕ nodded and gave him a reassuring smile. Her face was sore but she could see in his eyes he was sorry. She knew him, better than he realized, and she knew that he would never have intended to hurt her She scooped her belongings back into her purse and hooked it over her shoulder before she took his hand and pulled herself up, but as she stood, she tugged at his wrist, pulling him to her so they were nose to nose, lingering a moment before letting a playful grin dance across her lips and whispering, "Get me a drink baby?" But before he could answer, she clamped her mouth to his and kissed him hard before he could react. Then just as quickly released her grip on him and headed off toward the rest room to blot some powder on to the red marks and her neck.